I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
