butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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