This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
