Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
