So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
