Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
