I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
