One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
