Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
