jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
