when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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