Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He better not be in your backpack
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
