Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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