how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
