In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
