Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
