New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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