she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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