I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
