Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
