no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
