I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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