You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
