DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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