So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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