Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
