they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
why do cheetos always look like penises
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
