I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
