I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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