I hate all girls vehemently.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
