No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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