Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
