She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
