Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
