Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
