how can u be prego again
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you win again, gameday.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
