remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
