No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So squirting runs in the family.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
