I wannas sexs uuuuu
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
