I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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