My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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