I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
