I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
