sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
