you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
