What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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