Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
