I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
