How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
