We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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