ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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