garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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