last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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