this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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