So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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