Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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